Am I Dating a Narcissist?

Here are some warning signs that a person you have met or are starting a relationship with may be a Narcissist.

He may blame every mistake of his, every failure or mishap on others, or on the world at large.

He may be hypersensitive to slights and insults. He may treat children or animals with little care and respect.

He may be too eager to push for more time together and create a whirlwind relationship.

He can immediately cast you in the role of the love of his life and press for exclusivity and instant intimacy. He may text or phone you incessantly, or need to know where you are at all times.

He may not respect your boundaries and privacy, or may ignore your wishes, or want to be included in everything you do.

He may tend to want to control the situation and you compulsively, eg insist you ride in his car, hold on to the car keys, the money, or the theatre tickets. He may disapprove if you are away for too long, and interrogate you when you return. He may insist on a certain way of dressing.

He may act in a patronizing and condescending manner and criticise you often. He may emphasise your smallest faults (devalues you) even as he exaggerates your talents, traits, and skills (idealises you).

He may be wildly unrealistic in his expectations from you, from himself, from the budding relationship, and from life in general.

He may tell you that you make him feel good. Next thing, he may tell you that you make him feel bad, or that you make him feel violent, or that you provoke him.

He adopts a physical posture which implies and exudes an air of superiority, seniority, hidden powers, mysteriousness or amused indifference.

He takes part in social interactions and banter condescendingly, from a position of superiority.

He may ask for special treatment of some kind. Not to wait his turn, to have a longer or a shorter therapeutic session, to talk directly to authority figures (and not to their assistants or secretaries), to be granted special payment terms, to enjoy custom tailored arrangements, and can
frequently and embarrassingly dress down service providers such as waiters or taxi drivers.

He flatters, adores, admires and applauds you in an embarrassingly exaggerated and profuse manner.

In general, he prefers show-off to substance and is shallow. He will not admit to ignorance or to errors in any field.

He may brag incessantly. His speech is peppered with I, my, myself, and mine. He describes himself as intelligent, or rich, or modest, or intuitive, or creative, but always excessively, implausibly, and extraordinarily so.

His past life may sound unusually rich and complex. His achievements often seem beyond his age and education. Yet, his actual condition is in reality incompatible with his claims. He name-drops and claims other people’s experiences and accomplishments as his own.

He likes to talk about himself and only about himself. He is not interested in others or what they have to say. He is never reciprocal. He acts disdainful, even angry, if he feels an intrusion on his precious time.

In general, he is very impatient, easily bored, with strong attention deficits, unless and until he is the topic of discussion.

If you ask him about his emotions, he will intellectualise, rationalise, or talk about himself in the third person and in a detached scientific tone.

He may become enraged when required to examine his motives, fears, hopes, wishes, and needs.

He is usually very serious about himself. He may possess a fabulous sense of humour, scathing and cynical, but rarely does he make jokes at his own expense.

If you have found that you are already in a relationship with a Narcissist, and would like relationship counselling, or help in leaving a Narcissist, contact us at the Hart Centre Australia. We have over 50 Psychologists around Australia who have been educated in Narcissism and can knowledgably help you in dealing with your situation. We also offer Skype sessions for overseas clients or those you can’t attend one of our centres. Phone Australia 1300 830 553, or +617 55190004

The Most Important factors to consider when purchasing office Furniture Sydney

The furniture you use in your office will make a huge impression on your clients, a successful office turning your dreams into a reality. It is therefore important that you take many factors into consideration when purchasing your office furniture Sydney.

There are indeed a variety of ways that you can kit out your office these days and these include buying locally, taking advantage of office clearances and sales, and of course buying online. It is essential you know your budget and that you stick to it, but at the same time you need to make sure that your work space is inviting both to workers as well as clients and visitors.

The correct furniture, fixture and fittings can make the difference between a successful and smoothly running business and a failure, and when you will spend many gruelling hours in your office setting up shop, you will need to be comfortable in your surroundings. Your employees also need to have all the correct accessories and furniture to ensure that they work to their optimum; there really is no room here for scrimping and saving.

When shopping for your office furniture Sydney, firstly you will need to be clear in your mind as to what you will require; computer tables, filing cabinets and welcoming sofas and executive furniture are really a must these days. An office that does not provide an attractive and comfortable environment for its workers simply is not allowed these days; your employees have rights and they will not be afraid to make them known.

One feature of your office that you cannot compromise on within the office is your chairs. Whereas you may be able to disguise cheap shelves or tables, chairs need to be in good condition, of good quality, and provide the workers with a comfortable work station. Being correctly seated will allow the workers to be a lot more productive in their tasks even if they are not aware of this themselves.

It is therefore best to buy new chairs for your office furniture Sydney, and you can look for discount stores or even online when running to a strict budget. Desks on the other hand are a feature of your office that you can cut costs with; a practical desk that is solid with good storage space is advisable and for this you do not have to spend a fortune. Second hand desks and cubicles are often offered at a great price, and these are items that will last for years and will not really show wear and tear.

Storage and filing cabinets are also an essential part of any office; an untidy office with paperwork strewn everywhere will not only look uninviting to the client, but it will also slow down production time. All your essential office furniture Sydney needs can be dealt with by shopping in store or online; what is very important to realize in the outset though is budget furniture really is false economy as well as giving the wrong impression to important clients visiting.

Marriage & Relationship Counselling

Under the best of circumstances, a relationship is hard to keep together. The modern planet we live in can make the job of keeping a relationship on track even more difficult. Between both partners having busy schedules that include work, overtime, kids, and life in general, there does not seem to be much time for partners to devote together strengthening their relationship. When they do have time together, it appears that they are constantly discussing economic considerations or other subjects instead of their relationship. This can make it hard for many partners to keep the love and commitment in their relationship.

When couples start this pattern, they should seek marriage and relationship guidance just before their relationship gets beyond help. Seeking counselling early will give the couple a much much better possibility of saving their marriage or relationship. That is one thing that should be made clear, counselling is not just for those that are married, any couple can make use of counselling if they are interested in keeping a relationship together. Marriage and relationship guidance can work well, and be the ideal solution for any couple that is seeking answers to the issues that are interfering with their relationship. The one thing that both persons need to prepare themselves for is the possibility that the answers you receive from your counsellor may not be what you expect.

Someone that is well trained in marriage and relationship counselling will know not to take sides. This can be a difficultyfor some that go to counselling, because they assume the counsellor will take their side against their partner. A qualified counsellor will understand that there is never any “right” or “improper” in a relationship, that each person will have valid points and issues.

When a relationship runs into problems it is never a make a difference of which person is right or wrong about an issue, the issues lies with how the couple choose issues.

Partners that talk issues out and come to an equitable solution are less probably to have difficulty. The couples that end up having difficulties are the ones that argue about issues and never come to a solution. Instead of rationally solving the issue, they enable their feelings to be brought into every conversation, when that happens issues never seem to get resolved.

Marriage and relationship counselling will teach each person to own their feelings and remove them from everyday selections. Many people will have issues carrying out this and it could take a lot of time and practice for some to reach the point where they can keep their feelings in check. When discussing an issue each person requirements to learn to stay on the issue, and not use the issue as an excuse to make a personal attack against his or her partner.

Your counsellor will also have one-on-one discussions with both people so that they can search for behavioral patterns that might be in the way of the relationship. Many people get very relaxed with destructive patterns such as anger, the person may be so comfortable with their way of handling conflict that they may not realise what they are carrying out. When the counsellor points out these patterns, some people will be embarrassed, some will be defensive, and others will strive to alter the pattern.

Marriage and relationship counselling can assist both partners in working with all of their personal issues that could be affecting the relationship. If one person has low self-esteem, the counsellor will help them construct their confidence. People without any self-esteem will often let their companions take advantage of them within the relationship. This is not a good situation for both partner but it is particularly bad for the one who lacks confidence in themselves.

Marriage and relationship counselling can help both people uncover underlying feelings and issues that are affecting their relationship. facing these issues will not only make your relationship with your partner better, it could also help you with all of the relationships in your life. There are many various locations to seek marriage and relationship counselling. You can seek help from a professional counsellor, from someone inside of your religion, or a sociable worker. No make a difference where you seek counselling, if you are having troubles inside of your marriage or relationship it is a good idea to seek the assistance and counsel of a trained outdoors party.

We offer quality marriage counselling sydney and across NSW. Associated marriage counsellors Sydney; for quality marriage counselling sydney and at 10 other locations. Call (02) 8002 1019 , 418/185 Elizabeth Street, Sydney NSW 2000.

Home Solar Power Now Cheaper than Coal

Home Solar Power is now cheaper than Coal By installing Solar Power on your home you now have the ability to generate your own clean electricity for less cost than polluting coal based electricity whilst also doing your bit towards saving the planet.

How Solar Power works:
Solar Panels or photovoltaic panels convert sunlight into direct current electricity. This direct current power is then distributed to a device called an inverter that converts this electricity into mains power that can be used within your house or be connected to the public grid for other houses in the area to purchase.

The Price you are currently paying for electricity:
Depending on the state and town you are in and depending on the time of day you use electricity will depend on how much you are charged for it. On average, households can pay between $0.30 and $0.40 per KwH for electricity during peak hours which are usually between 2pm and 8pm. Costs for shoulder period electricity may be around $0.15 to $0.20 per KwH. .

The Price of Solar Electricity:
As most homeowners buy or lease a Solar Power System rather than actually buy the electricity, the standard mechanism for determining the actual cost of this electricity is done using the LCOE (Levelised Cost of Electricity). This is calculated by taking the upfront cost of the system and dividing it by the amount of KwH’s it will produce over its lifetime. .

Currently a 1.5kW Solar Installation costs around $2,500 fully installed (after available rebates). Over the expected 20 year life of the system, it should produce around 36,000 KwH’s. When dividing the upfront system cost by this number, it equates to an average electricity price of under $0.07 per KwH - significantly cheaper than current electricity charges. As electricity prices significantly increase over time this difference becomes even greater, as the electricity costs from the Solar Power installation remain the same.

To understand your options for getting your home powered with Solar Panels, or to understand more about Commercial Solar Power contact Todae Solar on 1300 GO SOLAR for high quality Solar Power Installations across Australia.

What is Narcissism?

Have you ever got the sense that your partner thinks he or she is generally superior to you, or more entitled to things than you are? Does he or she find a multitude of ways to devalue you or ignore you? Does he or he try to control you? If so, you may be living with a Narcissist.

Narcissism is considered a spectrum Disorder, which means that there are degrees of manifestation of the characteristics, so a person could have a couple of Narcissistic traits, right through to many or all, which means they would be closer to a Narcissistic Personality Disorder, as defined in the DSMIV.

Generally speaking, Narcissism is a condition of an Inflated False Self, which gives him or her a strong sense of self importance and a grandiose image of himself. He enters into relationships entirely for the purpose of keeping his grandiosity reinforced, as a source of Narcissistic supply for himself. He will idealise those who mirror this for him and devalue anyone as soon as they don’t. There is a real lack of genuine empathy for, or real interest in others, and a massive denial of his own problems, weaknesses, and vulnerabilities.
How did you become a willing victim? Why you?

If you find yourself in a relationship with a Narcissist, at some stage you might wonder why you? What does this say about you, your tolerance for pain and your sanity?
It is true that there is a particular kind of person that finds themself with a Narcissist, at least often well beyond the first indication that there is an underlying nastiness in him.

The kind of person who seems to unwittingly attract a Narcissist is someone who has Borderline characteristics, (which has also been referred to as Co-dependent or compliant) and has a deflated false self.

In Transactional Analysis terms, a Narcissist’s underlying Life position is I’m Ok, You’re Not OK, whereas a Borderline’s underlying Life Position is I’m Not OK, You’re OK.

Interestingly, a Borderline’s profile is less defended that the Narcissist, and less destructive to others, and therefore closer to achieving a healthy relationship, if you can gain true insight into what is happening and what is going wrong in your relationships and be able to develop a stronger identity and boundaries.
Can our relationship be helped?

If both you and your partner are committed to make your relationship a healthy and happy one, then I believe this is worth working on.

Finding a Psychologist who is familiar and experienced with these conditions is important as Narcissism can be notoriously difficult to pick up in a few sessions if the Psychologist is not trained in this. (Education on Narcissism is taught in Psychology courses but does not fully explain the widespread occurrence of this condition, and also the full ramifications of this, particularly to the partner. We at the Hart Centre are committed to ongoing training in these areas and in supporting you in managing yourself and your relationships.)

The success of relationship counselling and marriage counselling depends on many factors, but is largely due to the commitment of both partners to see their patterns and contributions, and be willing to change.

You will often not know how willing you and your partner are to do this until you attempt to do so. You will be able to see for yourselves over 3 to 6 sessions what real effort each of you are putting in to see the problems, own your contributions and make changes.

We can also support you if you have decided to leave your Narcissistic partner, and want help and assistance in rebuilding your life.

The Hart Centre has 54 centres for relationship and marriage counselling around Australia, so you will most probably find one close to you. You will find our Sydney relationship counselling centres in 15 different locations in Sydney, both in the CBD and suburbs. In Adelaide we have relationship and marriage counselling centres in 5 locations across Adelaide. Phone 1300830552 to speak to our friendly receptionists.

For relationship counselling Sydney and marriage counselling Sydney contact the Hart Center. The Hart Center can also help with marriage counselling Adelaide.

Hay - New South Wales

Located near the scenic Murrumbidgee River in idyllic South Western NSW, the Riverina township of Hay has changed from its modest origins in the Gold Rush era to a significant agricultural and transportation nexus and popular tourist attraction. Combining natural beauty, historical heritage and crucial Australian industry, the Hay Shire includes both the town of Hay as well as the nearby villages of Booligal, Maude and One Tree. The great saltbrush grasslands of Hay are home to one of Australia’s foremost wool growing and sheep meat producing areas, as well as cattle ranches and various agricultural outputs such as tomatoes and corn.

Also around Hay are the Riverine Forest, Grey Box Woodlands and Native Scrublands, home to a multitude of diverse Australian fauna, such as Kangaroos and Wedge-tail Eagles. The plains of Hay have provided ideal living conditions for human settlement going back to the Nari Nari Aboriginal community who inhabited the area. White settlement started with the founding of four squatter pastures, growing into a community funded by commerce with the stockmen and riverboats who traversed Langs Crossing.

Along with the foundation of a hotel, post office and courthouse, Hay grew with the famous Cobb and Co making it their base of operations for Victoria and the Riverina, including the largest stagecoach factory outside of Sydney. Growing tenfold in population, Hay was later depopulated due to almost every adult male volunteering for service in World War I, of which 1/6 were killed. Hay’s population would later be increased after the thousands of war prisoners and refugees held in the area during World War II were released and later resettled in Hay. Still a rural agricultural town, Hay recognizes and celebrates its history and natural beauty with a number of locations and establishments that cater to tourists and locals alike.

For short term accommodation hay, accommodation hay or holiday home hay, make sure you investigate Murrumbidgee Cottages. Both of our cottages are situated just a short distance from the picturesque Murrumbidgee river and are perfect for families. If you are looking for a holiday home for a couple of days, short term accommodation or even something longer either would be a great fit.